The Ape In The Well

Once this grandma told her granddaughter...go out to the well and get me a bucket of water.

So Kathleen went out there to get some water...and a giant ape jumped out of the well and said *I ate a barrel of cracker, I drank a barrel of water. And I'll eat you too* And he ate up Kathleen.

So a few minutes later, Granny said *I wonder what's taking Kathleen so long...Kevin...go out there and see about her.* So Kevin went out to the well, and out jumped that Ape. And he said *I ate a barrel of crackers....I drank a barrel of water. I ate a little girl...and I'll eat you too*. And he ate Kevin up.

Granny was getting worried, so she sent Kevin and Kathleen's Mom out there to see what was going on. So she went out to the well. And out jumped that old Ape. And that ape said *I ate a barrel of crackers...I drank a barrel of water....I ate a little girl...I ate a little boy...and I'll eat you TOO* And he ate up their Mom.

So by now Granny was really worried..and she sent PawPaw out there to check on them. So PawPaw got out to the well, and out jumped the ape. And he said *I ate a barrel of crackers...I drank a barrel of water. I ate a little boy, I ate a little girl, I ate their Mom..and I'll eat you TOO.*

But Grandpa said *Oh, no you won't. I'm not afraid of you..you old ape.* And he chase that Ape way up into a tree, and that Ape fell out. And when he landed, his belly split open, and out popped, Kathleen...and out popped Kevin...and out popped their Mom.

Note from Julie: You can add in as many relatives as you'd like :0)

Moist Towelettes

When Granny had the little girls, she took them to Applebies to eat. Granny ordered riblets, and they brought out an extra plate for her (to put the bones on) and it had a towelette sitting on it.

Carlie asked her what that was...and Granny explained that it was something to wipe the BBQ off your fingers.

They started eating, and out of the corner of her eye, Granny noticed Carlie reach out her fingers and rub them across the towelette package. She couldn't figure out what she was doing.

Then she saw Carlie pick up her chicken strips, inspect her fingers and she wiped them across the towelette package again.

Then it dawned on Granny what was going on. She opened up the package and showed Carlie the little towelette that was INSIDE the package.

Why Didn't You Turn It On

This morning, I was shaving my legs with a regular razor and shaving cream. Madi was watching. At first she was fascinated because the shaving cream turned from a pink gel to a white foam. Then as I start to shave my legs, she looks at me funny and says "Mom, why didn't you turn the razor on?"

The Weinermobile

While we were in Oklahoma for the 4th of July, we went through the tiny town of Eufala, OK. And there in the parking lot of their small grocery store was the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile. Of course we had to stop and take pictures.


Then a few days later, we saw a news article where the Weinermobile crashed into someone's house. LOL. I'd have to have a giant hotdog sticking out of my garage. Bwahahaha.

All Bobs are Good Guys - Or Not

Carlie and Madi went to Vacation Bible School while they were with my Mom. On the last day, my Mom went to pick them up. They said "The Preacher's name is Bob....just like our Dad." And the preacher said "Yeah, all of us Bobs are pretty good guys, aren't we?"

Carlie muttered under her breath "Well I don't know about THAT. Our Dad beats us with a WOODEN SPOON!!!"

Ugggggggh! That kids' hardly been spanked in her life.

It's All Fun N Games Until Someone Pukes

Alternative Title - How My Son Cleared Out a Public Swimming Pool in Six Seconds Flat.

I went to go pick up the little girls on Saturday. We decided to meet at the Madison City Pool....so it was just me and Mom and the four kids. They were having such a good time. They'd found a little boy to play with...and they were wrestling with him. I had thought to myself at one point that they were getting a little rough and I should make them quit. Then I decided not to say anything.

The next thing I know everyone is OUT of the pool. The little boy had accidently choked Frank in the pool and he'd puked. This necessitated putting extra chemicals in the pool and shutting it down for an hour.

The little girls can now almost hold their own swimming after their week of swimming lessons. They had such a fun week with Granny.

Oh well!!!

Can't You See The Tracks of My Tears

Granny is getting a double dose of Pooligans this week. Here is her nightly report on Carlie and Madi.

I was on the phone today talking to my sister-in-law about some very important matters when Carlie and Madi got into a knock down drag out fight which involved throwing punches, one sitting on top of the other one and alot of screaming and tears. When I got off the phone I laid the law down and told them I HAD HAD ENOUGH and they were not going to swimming lessons, VBS, or going to the mall until they took a nap and apologized. Carlie came to me after taking a rest and told me she was really, really, sorry she acted like that. I told her I didn't think she was telling the truth. She said "Don't you see these tears in my eyes? That means I am really sorry when I cry like this!!" Yeah right!



I can't BELIEVE that she accused THESE little angels of fist fighting. Hehehehe.

Don't Get Those Good Apples.....

This is another popular story in our family that my Mom tells.

One day Granny was making an apple pie in her kitchen, and she told her little granddaughters *Go down in the cellar and get me some apples. Now there are some good apples down there and some bad apples. Make sure you get the good apples*

So her two little granddaughters went down into the dark, dark cellar to get the apples. They were getting ready to pick up the good apples when they heard a scary voice *Don't get them good apples....get them bad apples..* They were soooo scared, they got the bad apples and ran upstairs.

When Granny saw that they had gotten the bad apples, she was mad. She said *Girls....I told you to get GOOD apples....not the bad ones...so go down there and get the good ones this time*

So her two little granddaughters went back down into the dark, dark cellar to get the apples. They were going to pick up the good apples this time when they heard a scary voice *Don't get them good apples....get them bad apples..* They were soooo scared, they got the bad apples and ran upstairs.

Now Granny was REALLY mad...and she said...*If you don't get the good apples this time...your going to have to sit in time out*.

So this time the girls went down there and got the good apples. And that scary voice said *I'll see you tonight in your dreeeeaaams*

Then when the girls were in bed that night they heard....*I'm coming to get you....I'm on the first step....I'm on the second step....I'm on the third step...I'm on the FOURTH step.....I GOTCHA*

Casey's General Store

In my parent's small town they have a convienence store called Casey's. It's about a mile down the hill from my parent's house. My big kids love to go, because they are allowed to ride their bikes down there by themselves.

The little girls love to walk down there with Papaw. They always come back with a ton of candy, pop, donuts, etc.

The last time they walked down there, Carlie was in a hurry to get there. Papaw just wasn't going fast enough to suit her, so she said "Papaw, Come ON. You're DAWDLING." On the way back home (which is uphill), Carlie was falling behind...more interested in eating her candy than in getting home. Papaw hollered at her "Come ON, Carlie. You are DAWDLING." And Carlie replied "Well these little legs are getting TIRED Papaw."

Madi and Carlie are spending the week at Granny and Papaw's house. The first thing Carlie said when I told her they were staying for the week was "You know what this means. We'll get to go to Casey's ALOT." They are enjoying a full week with swimming lessons in the morning and vacation bible school in the evenings.

Beauty Shop

The little girls decided that they wanted their hair cut short like Libby's. So one evening this week, we went to the beauty school. We had such a great time. They spent two hours on us. I got my hair washed and styled. They washed the girls' hair and gave them scalp massages. And they little girls had the beauty school students laughing like crazy.

Carlie told them that SHE wants to fix hair when she grows up. When she sat down in the chair, she told them that she'd like a little color too. I nixed the idea of color. Carlie told me that when she moves out of my house she's going to get her hair colored...maybe with a little pink. She inspected all of the mannequins that the students work on, and went through all of the building to see how things worked.

Madi had them waiting on her hand and foot....spinning her in the chair bringing her water.

I asked when we left if they'd had a good time, and Carlie said "TOTALLY!!!"

July Quotes

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Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent - Calvin Coolidge.
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Life is Short. Running Makes It Seem Longer - KPL Team Logo
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Tough times never last, but tough people do
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We come here to remember those who were killed, those who survived and those changed forever. May all who leave here know the impact of violence. May this memorial offer comfort, strength, peace, hope and serenity.® - Oklahoma City Memorial
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4th of July Pictures

We set off a few fireworks at home and then went to the local fireworks display that night.

Playing with Fire

They go through a WEEK of fire safety at school. They hear about it on the children's TV shows they watch. We've TALKED about it. And yet, Libby, freshly 10 years old, decided to play with matches this weekend.

I had been working out at my in-laws's farm. I had my tools on their wooden front porch. I had taken matches and lighter fluid out to an area of the yard where I was burning a pile of old wood. When I was done, I set the matches and lighter fluid on the porch with my tools. My kids are between the ages of 6 and 11, and I THOUGHT all had enough common sense to not play with matches.

But I continued my yard work, and a little later in the day went up on the porch to pick up a tool, and I notice two burned matches on the WOODEN porch steps. Sigh. The two little girls are probably not coordinated enough to strike a match. None of the grown ups around would strike one on a WOODEN porch in the middle of a heat wave in JULY in OKLAHOMA. So that left two suspects.

I sat them both down and neither one of them new anything about the matches. My children think I have magical powers. I tell them that I KNOW one of them did it and even more precisely that they played with TWO matches. Libby finally said that she did it, but Frank did it too. Then Carlie chimes in "No, he didn't. I was there and saw you do it, and Frank didn't do any."

So Carlie and Frank got a swat for not telling on her. And Libby got several swats....for playing with matches...for lying to get Frank in trouble. Bob asked her later why she lied and said Frank did it too. She replied "Because I wanted us to be even. If I got in trouble I wanted him to get in trouble too."

When I asked WHY she had played with the matches, she said that Madi had gotten the box of matches wet with the water hose. So Libby was checking to see if the matches still worked. Gee, she'd HATE for me to have a box of matches that didn't work.

She also got Memaw riled up, because while they were spending the night in the camper, she put a towel over her bend legs and baby doll between them and proceeded to "Give Birth" with much grunting and groaning.

So I am telling this to one of my co-workers today. And he proceeds to tell me about his 12 year old daughter who has 400 friends on her facebook account, and has apparently given out her name and phone number to strangers on the internet. Because someone left a message on their phone at midnight asking for sexual favors.

I thought about it a moment, and then decided that maybe playing with matches wasn't so bad after all!!!

Sisterly Love

Visit with the Robey's

One the way down to Memaw and Pepaw's we stopped to visit with Frank and Libby's birth family. Their birth Dad treats all of my kids the same, and we had a good visit with them. He never forgets to send money for their birthdays or cards on holidays. The little boy is Frank and Libby's nephew. They think it's funny that they are already and Aunt and Uncle.

She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy!!!

We spent the weekend helping out my in-laws with their acreage. They brought in dirty, and we filled in holes and leveled out areas so that it would be easier to mow. It was fun to play in the dirt, and I think my hubby looked pretty hot on the tractor!!!!

Kanapolis Lake

I took off work on Friday and we made a day trip to Kanapolis Lake. It was hot, but we had a great time. The first thing we did was go on a two hour horseback ride though Horsethief Canyon. Frank and Libby got to ride their own horses. Madi rode her own horse on a lead rein and Carlie rode double with me. Bob and I had ridden horses when we were younger. It was a first time for all of my kids. They LOVED it.

We rode through some rough terrain too....Up and down hills, across creek beds. Towards the end of the ride, Carlie said "Mom, I think I need to drive this horse for a little bit." It had been well behaved, so I gave her the reins. Almost immediately, the horse put its head down and jerked the reins out of her hands. Good thing I had a good hold on her.

The we had a picnic out at the lake and wrapped up the day swimming.

Best Mom Ever aka I'm a Sucker

Today is Libby's 10th Birthday.

But before I tell this story, I need to back up a few days and give you some background information. On Monday morning, Libby had a friend over at the house. I have told the kids over and over again that they are NOT to get Madi's hamsters out. The things are too darn little and fast and if you accidently let one go, they are almost impossible to catch. So Libby calls me at work on Monday and asks if she and her friend can get the hamsters out. I told her No.

When I got home from work that night, Madi was crying because she could only find one of her three hamsters in the cage. We looked through the bedding and we found one squished and very dead at the bottom of the cage, one was alive and one was missing. She cried and cried. No one knew anything about what happened to the hamsters. I sat on it a few days to think it over.

Well yesterday I was planning to take Libby to get a guinea pig for her birthday. Before we left, I sat her down and told her that I wasn't going to let another animal into our house until I knew what had happened to the hamsters. After about 30 minutes I finally got out of her that they "probably" accidentally let one of the hamsters go, and "might have" accidentally smashed one trying to get it out of the cage. So we decided that she had to make this up to Madi by buying her two more hamsters out of her own money.

So off we go to get a guinea pig. We get to the store, and the guy working there won't sell us two more hamsters because he says they'll fight with the one we already have. So Madi decides to get a guinea pig instead and keep it in Libby's cage. Then Carlie starts in that its not fair that Libby and Frank and Madi all have a guinea pig and Madi has a hamster and she has NOTHING. So I talk to Madi and we decide that the remaining hamster will be Carlie's. She decides to rename him from "Brownie" to "Prince Timmy". And I let her buy a set of living room furniture for his cage.

So we come home and they are all so happy and excited. As we get out of the car, Libby goes "Mom...you are the best Mom EVER" (Note that I am usually the MEANEST Mom ever.) And I reply "Thank you Libby. But I bet there are a few Moms out there who are better than I am." She thinks about it a second and says "Well, your the best Mom that I'VE ever had!" Libby has a way of telling it like it is "Grin".

So now, if you are keeping count....we have

Five Kids
Four Rodents
Two cats
One Dog

And a FULL house.