Favorite Quotes

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  • "I'm so busy.... I don't know if I found a rope... or lost my donkey! - Unknown"
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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

An Oldie, but A Goodie

How I ended up with a 9 year old riding the hood of my car down the driveway.

At the beginning of September, JB had been with us only a couple of weeks. Frank ALWAYS acts up every football season because my husband is away so much coaching.

Well I was trying to get a bank account set up for JB. He'd played football the night before, so I let him sleep until 11am. The bank closed at Noon. So I got him up, got all the kids in the car, and Frank is fiddling around with batteries in a walkman. I told him that I didn't have time for that, he was going to have to wait until I came back home.

I didn't realize then how mad he was. So I herd him to the car, and his bike is behind the car. Now we'd been telling JB that Frank has horrible tantrums sometimes. But it's hard for people to believe that this sweet and petite little boy can turn into a devil child.

So I lock the door and turn around, and the bike is now RIGHT AGAINST the back of the mini-van. I look at Frank and tell him calmly "Frank, if you don't move that bike, I swear on a stack of bibles that I WILL run over it." I have done such things before, so he knows that I mean business. He grabs the bike and slings it across the yard and starts in with his stomping and cursing, etc.

Now I live in a very, very small and safe town...and he's 9 years old. So I tell him to go to his room, that I am NOT taking him to the bank when he's out of control nor am I going to change my schedule for him. I have to help escort him to his room, then I head back to the mini-van.

Well as I went through the house, he apparently went out the back door and around the outside of the house. As I pull out of the garage he's hitting and kicking the mini-van, throws a folding chair at it and is cursing. JB's eyes are about as big as saucers. He says "What are you going to do?" I reply calmly that I am going to the BANK....and I keep backing down the driveway.

Well they are building a new house next door to me. As I clear the garage I see that about 5 construction works are standing at the front of the house watching all this. About the same time, my son puts his foot on the bumper of my car and jumps across the hood putting his fingers in between the hood and the windshield to hold on. Now I'm finally angry. I'm sure there are flames shooting out of my eyes.

I put the vehicle in park, get out and slam the door shut. As I'm doing this, I hear one of the construction workers exclaim "Holy SHIT!!!" Frank knows he's crossed a line beyond lines, and he gets off the hood and starts running. JB goes "Should I go try to catch him???? What are you going to do??" I tell him "I run 3 miles 3 times a week, and I can't catch him. You are a LINEMAN, you SURE can't catch him. I am GOING TO THE BANK!!!" So I get back in my car.

My house backs onto a busy main street. I drive through the neighborhood until I get to where our division empties out on the main street. I look both ways before pulling out, and there is my son running down the middle of the street. So I sigh. I'm defeated. He's obviously so out of control that I cannot leave him. So I roll JB's window down and yell at Frank to get in the car. Frank refuses.

So JB askes if I want him to try. I tell him go ahead...can't hurt. So the conversation goes like this.

JB says "FRANK get in the car."

Frank says "No, if I do she will take me to JAIL."

JB says "DUDE, they don't take little kids to jail. We're going to the bank!!"

Frank screams back "No, she will. I know she will. She SAYS we're going to the bank, but she'll take me to jail instead."

JB says "DUDE, I PROMISE. We are going to the bank. Get in the car."

And he finally does. And I make it to the bank with five minutes to spare. JB gets his checking accounting. And I deal with Frank later after Bob is home and my blood pressure is back to normal.

1 comment:

5150 said...

ROFL...my all time favorite kid story!! it will be funny when you re-tell it to his kids!

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