Cheater, Cheater Pumpkin Eater

This is one of my favorite stories from the time I was a High School Math Teacher.

since I had to go have that Ultra Sound done yesterday afternoon, I left a test for my fourth (last) hour to take. I thought that would keep them busy and quiet, etc. So I left EXPLICIT instructions for the sub that they were not to use notes, notecards, books, etc and were to not look at each other's paper. I guess I should have known better, because that is my old class of terds. Well I get in this morning, and the sub has left a list of about six people that he caught cheating on the test. And I though *Oh, no...what I am going to do now.* So I asked about the sub and whether he is reliable, and they said that yes if he reported them cheating then they did. So I mulled over it alllll day today. And I sat down in my planning period and graded the papers. Well out of 22 kids, only five passed the test. And of those five, four of them were on the cheater's list. So here is what I did. I let myself get worked up into a real mad. I went in there and told them *You've raised the wrath of Mrs. Pool. For TWO reasons. The first is, I know you cheated. So everyone get out a sheet of paper and write one of the following three things 1 - I did not cheat 2 - I cheated by looking off of someone's paper 3 - I cheated using notecards, book, etc. I told them if they fessed up and were on the cheat sheet I wouldn't call their parents. But if they didn't fess up and were on the cheat list, I was going to call their parents.* So I made them pass all of those in . THEN, I went off of them again. I said *Not only did you cheat....but if you're going to cheat, at least be smart enough to cheat off someone who knows what their doing!!! So not only did you cheat...but you cheated and risked a zero on your test, suspension, a call to your parents, etc...and you STILL got an F. So was it worth it??? THEN, I went off on them for all flunking the test. I told them that test was at least HALF memorization, and they'd known it was coming weeks ahead of time. I told them that I knew EVERY ONE OF THEM was capable of making a C or better on the test. That I CARED about their grades and what they knew. And that in Mrs. Pool's room it was NOT acceptable to say *Oh, well its hard....I don't care if I flunk it. I'll just hope the next test is easier.* I told them that we were going to study Ellipses, Circles, Hyperbola's and Parabolas until EVERY ONE OF THEM made a C or better on the test. And that if that was all we studied until the end of the block, that's all we did. And I was going to make them so tired of studying those same things over and over again, that they'd decide it was worth their while to study for the test and pass it. LOL. I sure had some big eyes before I was done. Then I went back and opened all the papers they'd turned in about whether they cheated. I had six kids on the cheat list and 16 kids confessed. LOL. And two of the kids on the cheat list said they didn't.