Favorite Quotes

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  • "I'm so busy.... I don't know if I found a rope... or lost my donkey! - Unknown"
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Monday, February 25, 2013

The Case of the Missing....um yeah.

I can't believe I'm posting this but it really was very funny.  And it will be funnier in twenty years.

So I had this umm.."thing"...for women.  It was pink.  For the purpose of the story we are going to call it "the thing".     I've had it for years and it hasn't seen much action.  I know most women have them.  Heck I even know a couple of women who sell them at "Slumber Parties" and such.  But I've never been one to talk about sex with my friends.

I kept thinking that I needed to throw it away.  We've moved into different houses about 15 times in the last 10 years and I was always afraid that someone would stumble upon on "the thing" when they were helping us pack or unpack while moving.

With these last two moves into the trailer house and then into our new house...life was just so crazy and everything so rushed that I didn't think about it.  We had a bunch of unpacked boxes still in our garage and I would slowly go through them and unpack.   This summer I opened a box and there "the thing" was...right on top staring me in the eye.  I thought "OMG.  I have to get rid of it."  I'm not sure why I didn't throw it away then.  But I took it in my room and stuck it in the back of a drawer and then forgot about it.  I have no privacy in my house...the kids rummage through drawers.  My Mom is over alot and she wouldn't think twice about looking in the drawers in my bedroom either.  But I forgot about it.

We had a little incident this summer with Libby texting inappropriate things with a boy and I was shocked at what she knew.  And she has an issue of taking things that don't belong to her.

So finally one day a few weeks ago, I had the house to myself which was unusual and it was trash day.  So I decided I could get it and put it in the trash then take the trash out on the curb and no one would see it.  Only when I went to find "the thing"....it was GONE.

The first thing I did was text Bob.  I told him that I thought Libby might have found it and taken it.  He said "Maybe, but I think I moved it a while ago."  I text shouted "WHY WOULD YOU MOVE IT!!!!"  And he said "Well your Mom was here and she was looking for something in our bedroom.  I had seen it in there recently and I was afraid she'd find it.  So I hid it and took it out to the garage and put it in a box out there.  I think so anyway."

Okay....how do you NOT remember if you did that or not.  So when we get home we look around in the garage and cannot find it.  It HAS to be found.  So I sit Libby down.  I told her. "I have lost this ummm....well "thing" for women.  It's pink. And it belongs to me.  If you've taken it I just need to known...you aren't in trouble."

She goes "MOM.  I didn't take it...but I know where it's at."  I lift my eyebrows "Really???"  She said "Yeah.  You had us cleaning up the garage and I found it in the top of a box.  It was like...SO GROSS.  I didn't want the little girls to see it, so I threw it in a pile of stuff in the corner of the garage."

So when Bob gets home that night I tell him about my interrogation with Libby.  So we go out to the garage looking for it and we can't find it.  So I call Libby out there to show us where she threw "the thing".   So showed us the general area and we dug through things until we found it.  Then I promptly put it in the bottom of the garbage bin.  And as I turned around I busted out laughing.  They asked me why I was laughing and I said "I can't believe that I am digging through the garage looking for the missing "thing" with my husband and my 13 year old daughter!!!" LOL.

I asked Libby about it later and she said she knew what they were called....that "the things" were very much in discussion around the lunch room table....and that several of the 8th grade girls claimed to own one."  WOW.

So the way I figure it...I probably put it in the top of a box when we moved into the trailer thinking I'd quickly retrieve it and put it away somewhere.  Only I forgot and the box was never unpacked.  Then that box was moved from storage and put in our garage.  So I probably found it first when I opened that box and then I stashed it in the drawer.  My husband found it in the drawer and put it back into a different box in the garage (unknown to me).  Then Libby found it in the second box while she was cleaning out the garage.  And she threw it into the corner of the garage (without telling me she'd found it) so that the little girls wouldn't see it.  And it sat there for months until I realized that it was missing.  Crazy.

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